This post was written by a friend of mine named Jenny who spent several years of her life as a Drill Sergeant. She tells a good story!
Reason #53 why Drill Sergeants should never be released back into the wilds of the Army… (part 1)
I was out at the M4 range today, we call in for a hot time and Range Control ask over the radio, “Do you have the range flag up?” (This flag is like a giant 8-12 foot red triangle flag, for my civillian friends reading along).
I step out on the deck of the tower and yell about 150 yards to the PVT that’s on gate guard.. “HEY!! PUT THE FLAG UP!”
Said PVT responds with a muffeled, “The other SGT told me to wait”. (Good thing I speak broken PVT).
Me: “What?” <waiving my arms around and mouthing nonsense> (PVT jogs up closer to the base of the tower).
PVT: (totally out of breath) “The other SGT told me to wait”.
Me: (looking at my rank, then back to the PVT, then slowly back at rank and back to the PVT, then to the SGT who is standing right next to me): “You think I have some kind of giant red flag fetish and I just want to see that thing majestically flap in the breeze?”
Me: “it ain’t a trick question”
PVT: “well ummm”
Me: “do I look like I like the color red?”
Me: “do I look like flags are my favorite hobby?”
Me: “I said, do i look like a vexillologist to you?”
PVT: “I… I don’t, I don’t even….”
Me: “how about this? how about you go put the flag up like you were told to do? Then Google vexillologist and then later on let me know what your favorite flag is and why …. you better not take the easy way out and say USA. It better be dam creative since you’re stuck down there on gate gard ensuring the Atropian* insurgants dont come get us”
PVT: “the Atropian?”
Me: “oh come on, now you’re going to tell me you don’t know where Atropia is?”
Me: “well looks like you have something else to research, you may want to get out of here and get that flag up before you have an essay and a book report due”.
SPC at the ammo shack: “dude, shut your mouth and move out, I had to write an entire S2 security report on Atropia and present it to MSG Cook”
PVT: <eyes wide open staring back at me>
<PVT sprints away>
Me: <waving> “Have a fantastic Army day on gate guard, we’ll chat later”.
*Atropia is a made up country that the Army uses to simulate operations during exercises and training.