And the Lie of the Episode | 87

In this edition I get to talk with Brent and we discuss a situation where someone lied and it became noticeable.

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music by Dyalla Swain


hello and welcome to parking thought the
show where we highlight the good in the
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curiosity meet gratitude my name is
Jacob and I’m glad you’re here today in
this edition we’re gonna be talking to
Brent who is a good friend of mine from
Canada one of those friends you make on
the Internet Brent we’re gonna ask you
to say hi in just a second but as you do
so would you please explain to me how to
pronounce your last name because it is
truly a French origin and I have trouble
with words of French origin so welcome
to the show thanks yeah it’s curious
that you mentioned my last night I was
thinking just earlier today I was
talking to someone in Barcelona and he
had a pretty tricky name so mine
it’s Brent and Gervais if you want the
that’s kind of the English pronunciation
of it but if you want to put the French
Canadian pronunciation it would be Brent
is she alpha Gervais well I don’t know
if I could do that there’s something
about French origin words that always
throws me off although tonight we were
reading our scriptures with our family
and there at the end of one of the
chapters that we’re gonna read I think
tomorrow is a beautiful French word
which is totally abnormal for the
general English translation of the text
and so it was kind of kind of neat to
have that that put in there but that is
not this episode so in this episode
we’re gonna be talking about an
experience I had those of you guys have
been listening this show pretty
regularly know that I’m really excited
that my parents came back from serving a
successful mission in Alaska and one of
the things that dad did because of
financial situations is just it’s a math
and realized that there was no point in
keeping two cars in his house you know
sitting in his house while he was up in
Alaska driving around one of the cars
that they provided a mono mission so one
of his goals coming back was to buy a
new car and he had you know figured out
which car he wanted and all the other
stuff like that so he’s going into the
Toyota dealership this is in Utah
alright he’s he’s going into the Toyota
dealership he’s made all the
arrangements to pick up the car the
morning after he flew in so we met him
at the airport then the next morning I
drive him to the Toyota dealership and
the lady at the front desk and and you
know the sort of person I’m talking
about right they’ve they’ve hired her
because she’s upbeat and she’s happy and
she’s there to greet people and and
that’s her job and dad shows up and says
hey I’m supposed to meet so-and-so and
the lady says oh I think he’s in a
meeting right now right and and we were
like wait what I mean like this
appointments but my dad plans ahead
right Brent so he’s he’s he’s been you
know like this has all been put together
you know right he was supposed to be
there this was supposed to be a quick
transaction off we go
you know Bob’s your uncle and instead
the lady looks at him and says yeah he’s
in a meeting right now not exactly the
best thing to say to my dad you know
especially after after flying and the
time zone difference meant that his body
was on two hours earlier than you know
Utah time so that was not cold dad dad
maintained his composure but we were
like okay well would you get him out of
the meeting so we could purchase the car
and and she’s like well why don’t you
guys just sit there for a minute and I’m
like okay so we go ahead and we sit
there and about minutes later the
salesman shows up or the guy who’s gonna
finish the transaction shows up and the
first thing out of his mouth was hey
sorry guys I slept in oh it is on a few
different levels right so so we tell
lies I mean like generally as human
beings we tell lies we tell lies to
ourselves right I still have a full head
of hair
even though categorically I shave it all
off and it’s not there anymore right you
know like we I’m the best looking guy in
the room you know like I’m the smartest
person like we tell ourselves lies to
help survive you know but but sometimes
when we I mean this young lady was
trying to craft a response but her
response was one of those ones where
it’s like okay you could have picked
something else right so Brent what would
have happened if instead she had said
you know that’s not like him to not be
here why don’t you guys wait a minute
have a seat grab some popcorn in the
back I will work on finding out what’s
going on you don’t have to worry about
that because what she was trying to do
is alleviate our concern or anxieties
and instead she ended up increasing them
and then really looking foolish at the
end of it you know because she said oh
he’s in a meeting man come on yeah you
know what I find to be more helpful is
for example what he did which is to lead
with honesty I find in my own personal
experience that gets you out of more
trouble than it gets you into like she
was trying to fix the situation but in
the end made it worse and sorry had she
for example led with honesty the way
that you described it changes the entire
situation yeah and and you can there’s
nothing wrong with not knowing an answer
but you’ve got to be able to communicate
that you don’t know an answer and help
the other person through the process
I’ve found it really helpful when I’ve
been you know the listeners on the show
know we love the hashtag it’s okay to be
new right and Brent I’m gonna quiz you
who is the queen of hashtag it’s okay to
be new in our community that’s our good
friend Elle right so so when L talks I
always hear that it’s okay to be new
that stretch thing she’s because she
makes me feel so normal when I end up in
those situations and and so you know
when I find people in those situations
in my environment it’s so comforting to
be like hey let’s figure this out
together right like I had somebody last
week who is hey Jacob we’re probably
going to have to work remote I’m not
used to doing that how do I do a
whiteboard and I was like I don’t know
but let’s figure this out together and
so we found a way to do a whiteboard
with our you know office
subscription and built that and you know
and and was able to really practice and
rehearse it so that way he felt
comfortable walking out of there but how
comforting is it when you can have
somebody you know and kind of mentor you
through that that process of oh yeah
let’s work this on you work on this
together you don’t have to know
sometimes you fake it right but but
being willing to work with somebody else
to get to the answer that they’re after
I think it takes being able to listen to
the questions that they’re actually
asking as well in order to get to that
point have you had any experiences like
that I would say constantly I mean
there’s it’s that approach of
collaboration versus like in that
professional setting often it’s it’s oh
I I’m supposed to look like I have
everything in order you know like you
mentioned that just kind of faking it
and I’ve found man it’s always better to
lean on the side of collaborating even
if you have to admit you know that you
don’t know the answer that gets you so
much further so in terms of specific
examples I mean I I sort of run into
that often in my photography work
because for instance if I show up I
don’t know at a mine here and I’ve never
really been underground in this specific
mine because mining photography is
something I’ve gotten into with a friend
of mine recently but I’m really new kept
yeah I’m really new at that concept of
photographing mines and mining equipment
and mining people and being underground
and that kind of stuff that’s foreign to
me even though I’ve done photography for
a really long time so often times I have
to just say well I don’t know what kind
of equipment I need to go underground
even though I’m supposed to be the
professional here right and so that’s
interesting yeah when you kind of take
that collaborative approach I found
people actually get on your side and you
get you get to the where you’re trying
to get much much faster well and I think
it requires a certain level of humility
you know we talk about humility be in a
lot of different aspects but recognizing
that hey I want to do the job you expect
me to do I had that happen tonight with
them somebody one of my co-workers I was
like look I’ve been working on this
problem for weeks and I think I’m doing
it wrong you know can you walk me
through what you think this looks like
and so she took the time to do it and I
said it’s still not connecting and then
finally it did and I was like oh
you know because this was lots of mental
hours you know that were dedicated to
solving a problem a little differently
and the answer was right there and had
all the core pieces because I thought
through all the other chunks and so it
felt really good at the end of that but
it was being able to be humble and say I
I don’t know this you know okay
we’ve got to talk a little bit this is
going to be a little longer episode for
those you guys listening because I’m
actually gonna ask Brent about some of
his photography stuff so I’ve done
low-light photography inside of caves
and mines and I loved it it is so my
favorite work to do especially if the
background is static and you can do like
painting the walls with lights nice
right yes that’s so fun second long
exposures you know those sorts of things
so so when you’re doing that do you get
to do any of those long exposure ones or
are they they short er and showing off
equipment and people and stuff like that
which is a dark background yeah well as
you know underground is is gonna be
pretty dark and so often we get hired I
say we because I’m been asked by my
friend James who’s a mining photographer
he specializes in mining photography he
and I have been collaborating recently
and he often gets asked to highlight
something specific you know we get hired
by some business to do something either
highlight their people which is often
the case or highlight some equipment
they’re building so we always have sort
of a purpose so it’s less artistic in
the sense of us just playing but at the
same time it is really super technical
and we get to play in many ways to make
things look their best so it ends up
being a really fascinating mixture of
long exposures with the ambient light
but what we end up doing is try potting
the camera and taking sometimes up to
exposures of the same scene because we
end up specifically lighting certain
sections of the people or the equipment
and so we may bring down three to four
flashes but in the photo that
and composite there’s maybe like
different light locations but we only
light up certain aspects of the
photograph at a time and then we blend
it all together later so it’s it’s kind
of a really neat technical exercise
similar to the focus stacking that you
are doing but yeah but using light
instead so there’s yeah a mixture of
long exposure ambient stuff to capture
some rocks and things but lots of
flashes going off in different locations
for very specific reasons that is cool
so on your bucket list if you ever make
it to Krakow Poland right mmm
they have the coolest salt mine to do
photography and they have a full
Cathedral that’s carved out of the salt
including an entire chandelier carved
out of salt and it is this yeah like
definitely so my I have a net and uncle
who are preparing to go and do a
European trip and they’re they’re gonna
do that the Paris and this and that and
I said look I said if you get a chance I
know it’s off the beaten path but the
cities I really enjoyed are the ones
that were the Paris is from you know
years ago or years ago right it was
just so Krakow Bratislava Budapest you
know are kind of like those those three
that I really enjoyed and then get dance
right so if you were to do north to
south you should go get danced Krakow
Bratislava and Budapest and all and
hitting four of those is just they’re
wonderful places to be really neat
history and culture and Cracow wasn’t
bombed during the war so you have
years of history and like one set of
thoughts and it’s a lot to say it’s
really cool that’s great advice so yeah
if you get there you know it’s good
maybe you know there’ll be some
photography gig out that way and you’ll
be good to go let’s make it happen so
any listeners that want to fund a trip
to Krakow Poland
or the two of us we will gladly take
your photos for you and with that let’s
wrap up this episode this is the part
where I tell you that the best way to
say thank you for this particular
episode is to share it with someone that
you know and if you’re just joining us
for this episode because maybe we picked
the title that was Google right then we
want to say thank you and if you
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your app of choice remember as we like
to say in each episode actually let’s
see if Brent can do this you’ve listened
enough my episodes what is the challenge
I leave at the end of every episode you
want to do it oh I’ll do it on the next
alright alright too much of a quiz there
no I’ll do it on X what I’m embarrassed
no it’s totally fine right hashtag it’s
okay to be new and we asked we asked the
audience to remember in a world where
you can choose to be anything or why not
choose to be grateful